10 August 2017
How many times have you tried to link yourself with a character you saw in a movie or read in a book? And then, of course, comparing your life story with that character’s… Lost count, right? Atleast, I have. I’ve not only compared myself to the character. But also thought of people comparing me to that character. As in, what does this person think about me? Is he/ she also thinking so?
So ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to myself. I’m the girl people don’t write about… I’m the girl you don’t read about or watch in teen movies. I’m one of the most insignificant characters in a novel.
Let me explain, how… I ain’t the nerdy girl. Who in fact, has a perfect life; but just cribs about how she couldn’t be one of the hot popular kids. In the end, the hot jock/ school bad boy falls for. I’m neither the hot cheerleader who initially has a perfect life but as the story ends, realises what bitch (excuse the language) she was to so many people. In my school, they aren’t just stories. They’re real life expectations of people. The nerds are waiting for the jocks to notice them and the cheerleaders rule the world.
Dear reader, I’m the girl who know that’s not the only future. I’m the girl who is nerdy to the core when it comes to studying but also the one who knows how to have fun. The girl who is as innocent as a child to many. And as wild as a lion in a jungle to few. I’m the one who has learnt one simple fact in life, “you won’t get this freaking time or life back!”
I know how to live my life. But also know how important it is to maintain your values and ethics along with following the principles you make for yourself. I talk to everyone (some people might say that I have a lot of friends… But that’s a story for another time) and I even hang out with a lot of people. But I don’t let that come in between my studies. I’m assertive on the fact that, nothing is effortless in this world. You want a good body. Work for it! You want pretty hair. Do something!
This is the introduction to the girl you left behind while reading books and watching movies… I’m pretty sure this girl isn’t just me…
IN HOPE TO WRITE SOON,
GONE GIRL 101, XXX
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25 July 2017
to be honest, ive lost count of the amount of times my friends as well as my family has taken me for granted. ive always wished to be considered important by people I love. but, even though I see that they find me really very important in their lives, they somehow somewhere forget to make me realise it… do I sound like an attention seeker if I say that I really want people around me to be there for me whenever I need them and might not show my need?
people say that you don’t need such people in your life, but what if they are all I have? I know that I have no right to complain having friends and family is a great deal itself and plus there are times that my loved ones show their love…. the problem or the thoughts that I have are about the fact that sometimes you don’t need a whole bunch of a crowd which likes you and thinks highly of you instead all you need is some special people who LOVE you.
I have a huge history of losing friends that I could actually write a novel on it… guy friends mostly because they thought that befriending me was a way to make me like them as more than a friend… when honestly all I ever needed or saw in them a friend I coud confide in. some people would think its good that guys fall for me even after all my flaws, but that’s not what I want. maybe, all I want is a FRIEND. i hope you understand. recently, my best friend drifted away and now we almost never talk because according to him i always made him feel like he was never good enough for me… which just doesn’t make sense to me; i always told him what an amazing person he was and that i loved for the way he is, it’s just that i never liked him the way he wanted me to like him…
well, my history with girlfriends is also not very pleasant seeing the fact that since kindergarten, ive been through so many heart breaks (considering the fact that ive never dated).
the thing is, that when I befriend someone they start meaning a lot to me, probable way more than they think/ know. it hurts me, when they decide that just because their crush likes me (even though I never have once in my life talked him) im no linger the girl they befriended; or when I tell them that I don’t like them more than just a friend they lose interest; or when I show them what im most vulnerable to, I become the girl who isn’t worth the talk/ explanation. its like every person that comes in my life just stomps on my heart and crushes it, like it meant nothing, like I meant nothing… yet, I somehow refuse to learn something from my past and maybe not trust people so easily!
at the end of all of this, I cant help but think that there has to be something wrong in me, to not be able to achieve what for most people is a daily thing…
IN HOPE TO WRITE SOON,
GONE GIRL 101, XXX
19 July 2017
Why did I start writing? well, I don’t know that myself… but there are always some things that cross my mind and I mostly don’t discuss with people or tell my opinions on most things in order to obviously avoid judgemental opinions about me.
aren’t we all just waiting for a place where we can just say whatever we want without being afraid of the fact that people are constantly judging you? well, this is my place.
I know that if I really wanted to be this anonymous; why not write a diary, but the thought that whatever I write will be read by someone somewhere and my views and opinions on matters could matter to someone really fascinates me…
so here I am writing and I really look forward to what this website along with my wonderful readers hold for me…
in hope to write soon,
GONE GIRL 101, XXX